X was my second love. A big love. One that formed the imprint for what I still look for in a partner. One that, even though the split was ancient history, still had some hold over me.
I took the opportunity to look him up recently and we met for lunch. Why? Partly to satisfy my curiosity and partly because I was visiting the area and it seemed too good an opportunity to miss.
I predicted he’d be bald, bearded and gay. He wasn’t. A little grey and broader in the face. I’d forgotten the slightly crooked front tooth that stopped his beautiful face from being bland. His way of moving, the relaxed laugh.
It’s a funny thing to spend time with someone you were once so intimate with. Who you knew so well in that young immature way and of course who you barely knew at all too. He was happy and well and we had a nice lunch. You can’t tell or ask everything you might want to in a hour but it laid a ghost to rest.
It also reminded me of the qualities I so appreciated in him that are still important to me. Without any of the angst and arguing that were a feature of our relationship.
An intense engagement with the world. Curiosity and humour. Treading your own path.
Thank you, X.